The Caroline Bingley Diaries - Part Thirteen

[the_shrubbery]

Part Thirteen: In Which Caroline Travels Further North & Discovers Whisky

August 10th:

So exciting to be eloping! Is almost like a scene from The Woes of the Chaste Orphan Athalia & I think G got rather giddy at the prospect as well & at one point tried to convince us uncle Tiberius was charging after us trying to have me abducted & brought to the convent.

Really do not want to imagine that. Although suppose that while uncle Tiberius might want to do so he would never pay for the horses he would need to charge after me so am probably safe.

Paul tells me he sent D a letter informing him about the elopement. Not sure if that was the wisest course but then Paul really felt bad about not having D there so I guess he at least wanted to tell him as soon as possible.

Spending the night with one of Paul’s aunts. Manchester v. smoky but aunt charming. Gave me a lace shawl to wear for the wedding.

August 11th:

In Westmorland with yet another cousin of Paul’s. Am not sure will ever be able to keep the family straight but Mrs Fitzhugh awfully sweet & gifted me with her own bridal shoes; says she will not be able to wear them any time soon now she is in the family way.

L & Mrs A insisted on sitting me down after dinner and “explain certain proceedings” to me. Seemed to assume I was nervous. Did not want to disabuse them of that notion so just smiled & nodded & did not say had found book in the Pemberley library with all the relevant details that I had not yet gathered from The Woes of the Chaste Orphan Athalia. (NB: Wonder if D knows that books has those passages & still let G read them.) Is nice after all that they cared even though slightly embarrassing.

August 13th, early morning:

Ow. Ow. Sunlight hurts.

Think whisky may be even viler than absinthe though certainly tastes better.

Also, my husband snores.

My husband.

Hee. I have a husband.

Ow.

Must drink water & return to bed.

August 14th:

Must confess events of my wedding day still kind of a blur to me. Remember that we were almost late because driver had taken a wrong turn so had nearly no time at all to get ready. Paul v. sweet in the carriage insisting nobody get nervous when he was most nervous of all. Looked v. fetching though in his uniform. Ceremony was lovely & cousin Fergus who must be twice Mrs A’s age a real dear but afterwards things get a little unclear. Think we were invited to a toast in our honour by the local squire who apparently is another of Mrs A’s cousins & then cannot remember much. Must have been about the whole village of Brydekirk that had come to toast us. Think at one point was taught a song about the bonnie banks of loch something or other. Paul says my performance was very sweet but am pretty sure he was already asleep on the table by then. Am quite certain C performed the Bunny Lament to great success but certainly was sober enough to carry Paul upstairs to our chambers after that. Vaguely recall tumbling into bed shortly afterwards with only most cursory attention to the normal ablutions & think Paul was already completely out of everything by then.

Events of the next morning much clearer & certainly more memorable even if the splitting headache was a bit distracting in the beginning. Turns out books certainly cannot teach one everything.

All in all think was probably the best wedding any girl could have. Still cannot keep silly grin from creeping over my face whenever I talk about my husband, or so L tells me. Love him so much think I am going to burst from happiness any minute now.

August 16th:

L & H have decided to stay with cousin Fergus for a while who has promised to help L with her problem. Is probably most sensible course but am going to miss her dreadfully. Was one thing to think about us settled in different parts of London but another thing entirely to have settled her almost a week’s travel away. Am feeling the loss already & have not even said goodbye to her.

Such a shame we have to be back on the road tomorrow. Really do not want to face D when he finds out where we took his sister but then am quite certain Mrs A took her away before the toasting became to raucous.

August 17th:

In Westmorland again. Still feel sad at having to take leave of L for who knows how long but Paul comforts me as best as could be. Received heartfelt congratulations from Mr & Mrs Fitzhugh.

Will spend tomorrow night in Manchester once more & reach Pemberley on the 19th, probably to leave G there with Mrs A before C, Paul & I return to London.

Had long discussion with Paul about how to inform his family. He wants to tell them in person. Suggested he write a letter as he did with Darcy but he said he was not sure that was best course of action.

Cannot believe have not yet thought about what Paul’s family (excepting D&G of course) will think of me. Will probably think me beneath Paul’s notice & far too young. Hope they will not hate me too much.

Must finish writing for today, my husband calls.

Hah.

Still sounds weird. And wonderful.

August 19th:

Oh my.

So Darcy did get that letter.

Was already at Pemberley when we came there; had apparently arrived shortly before us. Was not in the best mood to say the last. Am not sure about whatever business it was in London (NB: must ask Paul if he knows) but apparently it did not go too well & then he was also angry we had taken G with us. Was afraid he would fire poor Mrs A even though she had come only to protect G, but he lauded her for being the only sensible person in the party & thinking of her cousin so we at least did not get married over an anvil. Then Paul started shouting back at him (brave man!) about how it was not D’s business in the first place how & where we got married & he could take his precious reputation elsewhere & just when I thought it might be time to cover G’s ears or bring her somewhere else altogether, they sort of punched each other’s shoulders & then D congratulated us both & asked how the journey had been.

Men.

August 21st:

Going south in a few days but for the moment enjoying married life at Pemberley. Do not feel inclined to write much; Paul wants to take me down to the river to enjoy the warm weather & promised cook was going to pack basket of cupcakes.

Feel like haven’t eaten a cupcake in ages what with all the fretting recently. Paul seemed unusually amused at the idea; must ask him what he means by it. Also must really ask him why Darcy is in such a foul mood half the time.

August 22nd:

Still do not understand what is so funny about the fact that cupcakes are tasty & I like them. Paul keeps saying that my love for them was what first endeared me to him. Not sure if that is flattering or not but since he is the best of husbands I will allow him this little idiosyncrasy.

NB: Must really ask him what is the matter with Darcy.

August 23rd:

G getting all dejected at the idea of us leaving in three days & keeps begging D to take her with him but D adamant that she cannot come to London.

Wanted to offer to take her with us but since Paul & I still have not decided where to go once we have reached London offer probably would not meet D’s approval. Promised G though that once we were settled somewhere would definitely invite her which seemed to cheer her up immensely.

Paul says not to worry and I don’t but can’t help but feel odd at the thought that we have as of yet no idea where we will make our home. Paul usually stayed with either D or his parents when he was in London but really do not want to move into his mother’s house when I have never even met her; what if she & I do not get along at all? C said that we could stay in his house for as long as we liked & we probably will go there first but cannot be indefinite stay as I want my own home eventually.

Paul asks me would I like to live somewhere in the country & I said I would not mind but he would have to sell his commission for that & he still seems to be having doubts about it. Also what part of the country to choose? Would like to be both north to be close to Louisa and south so can see Charles.

Am convinced though we will work it out. Paul & I have gone over finances and determined that even without my inheritance we will have enough money to live comfortably if we are suitably economic.

August 24th:

G reminded me that we had not yet informed anyone but Darcy about the marriage & asked did we want to keep it a secret or could she tell her cousin about it in her letter? Paul & I decided there was no call for secrecy any longer so he sat down to write to his parents only for D to tell him that he had already informed them. At least D had the grace to be sorry about that.

So first thing we have to do when we go to London is see Paul’s parents and apologise that they had to hear from Darcy of all people. Who probably painted our elopement in the most horrible colours.

Realised though that apart from that there are some people I wanted to tell so wrote letters to Auntie Margaret & to Anne. Still feel bad about Anne’s family’s fortune & wonder whether I should tell her where it went but then maybe she does not even know it is gone yet. Although in that case I should really tell her so she knows? Do not want to ask Paul what he thinks because would have to reveal what are only suspicions about Anne’s past in order to make everything clear to him. He does not know how much she helped me when I felt so doubtful.

Wondered whether I should write to any of the girls at school but have not heard from any of them in ages & they would probably sneer at it having been an elopement. I know I would have. Thought about writing to Fanny but then she never returned any of my visits or asked about L or anything. Will probably let her know eventually when I am returned to London.

Then Paul & I sat down & carefully composed letter to uncle Tiberius. We were decided we would not beg him for forgiveness as we have nothing to apologise for but then we also did not want to be too disrespectful since it would be nice to have my money even if we can make without it if we must. D agreed to read the letter & he replaced a few words with longer ones. Normally would not tolerate that kind of thing but is just what uncle Tiberius loves.

Also sent letter to L asking how she is settling in & telling her about how we are debating where to settle & did she think she would leave Scotland soon?

August 26th:

G came to a compromise with D that she could travel south as far as to her grandmother’s house with us & spend the rest of the summer there.

G ecstatic because apparently her cousin wrote that she would be there as well. Fear that means that the Bat will be there as well but guess that cannot be helped & anyway have nothing to fear from her now since I no longer want to marry D.

That is unless she had plans for Paul too but there is nothing she can do about that either.

Would explain though why D is in such a bad mood if the Bat is waiting for him. (NB: Really should ask Paul what is up with D; perhaps it is not the Bat after all.)

Had a letter from L today. She is settling in well & tells me about the walks she & H talk daily because H thinks the exercise will help her to keep her mind away from gambling. Says she feels like something is missing but there simply is no opportunity for her to gamble anywhere around esp. because cousin Fergus strictly opposed to any form of it & will not tolerate it in his house so she cannot even get her hands on a pack of cards. L says this is exactly what she needs & also that the housekeeper’s daughter is now teaching her how to do lace so she has things to do of an evening.

August 27th:

Hmph. When packing, Paul found my box of curls & now keeps teasing me. Apparently one of the curls is from him.

Well I didn’t know that ,did I & I did not voluntarily collect them in the first place.

No need for him to be so ridiculously amused about it. Pah.