the_shrubbery | The Caroline Bingley Diaries. Part Three.

December 31st:

Cannot believe another year has gone by and am still not married. Felt very depressed this morning. Accidentally stumbled upon list with last year’s new year’s resolutions & realised how many things did not accomplish. Have not married Mr D. Have not learnt French. Have not embroidered tapestry. Have not formed meaningful friendship with Georgiana. Have not followed politics in the newspapers. Have not stopped wearing orange. Have not found out Hurst’s first name. Am resolved to be more attentive to new year’s resolutions next year. Also, will try to be more subtle in making Mr D. realise my true feelings as do not want to set self on fire again. Also, will not accept any more curls from Mr D. or other male which are presented to me by well-meaning servants as half a dozen is a nice round number.

January 3rd:

trist= sad
tristesse= sadness
Je suis triste = I am sad.

Am still stuck in town. Do not know what is keeping us; according to Louisa, H. still needing to conduct important business deal. Spent several hours with Louisa sketching drafts for tapestry but all for nought. Charles thought was Japanese still life when showed him what was supposed to be life-size picture of Mr D. Have not seen Mr D. or G. again since unfortunate burning incident. Went to visit Fanny and agreed with her should not seek out Mr D. soon.

January 5th:

detester= to hate.
Je deteste= I hate.
J’ai detesté= I have hated.

H. still detained by so-called business. Was woken up late last night when mysterious men delivered several crates of unknown content via the backdoor. Was woken this morning by abigail telling me that laundry room was locked & she could not get into it. Crates nowhere to be seen. Was forced to wear dark-green gown again because new gowns in laundry room for pressing. Felt very depressed & complained to housekeeper about locked doors. Stupid woman presented me with new curl of hair & freshly-made cupcake. Must say, cupcake not at all bad. Did not venture out all day as weather rather depressing. Wish could go into the country.

January 8th:

il pleut= it is raining
il pleuvait= it was raining
il pleuvra= it will be raining

Still detained indoors but no loss as laundry room still locked & key still missing so was forced to wear dark-green gowns all week. Another delivery came for H. last night and was woken up again. Wish that man would live somewhere else. Do not know how poor Louisa can tolerate his presence. Searched out cook & asked about possibility of cupcakes for breakfast. Was presented with curl & also cupcake so visit to kitchen rather successful. Tried to mention possibility of rat poison in H’s breakfast but cook did not understand my nudges. Spent several hours trying to re-sketch Mr D.’s likeness but unsuccessful.

January 11th:

It appears situation with France rather more dire than thought before. Lecture of newspaper most educating experience but am not sure I like being frightened over breakfast of delicious cupcakes. Was visited by Jane who apparently is still in town. Jane informed me creepy cousin now married to plain girl’s friend. Never liked her but feel must pity her now. Knew not what to say to Jane. Did not want to mention French studies as have not made progress yet & know not how well Jane speaks French. Wanted to mention how much detest H. but was not sure Jane would understand. Jane asked about Christmas but did not want to tell her set fire to self in Mr Darcy’s drawing room so only shrugged. Meant to tell her about gown crisis but then did not know if perhaps H.’s business not legal & could not risk involving myself. Was about to show Jane sketch for tapestries but then recalled had scribbled ‘Caroline Darcy, Duchess of Derbyshire’ in the margins & knew not whether Jane would find that silly. In the end, did not talk much.

January 15th:

gris= grey
vert= green
rouge= red
noir= black

Was forced to go out and order new gowns since could not reach ones in laundry room. Abigail tells me two of the housemaids forced to loan money from housekeeper to buy new aprons as old ones still locked in. Had cupcakes again for breakfast & must say much more pleasing start into day than reading about dreadful quarrels in House of Commons again. Do not know why men make such fuss about going into politics when all they do is behave like fishmongers once inside parliament.

Ran into G. at Mrs Taylor’s and had pleasant chat with her if rather forced. G. tells me insurance company settled all affairs with burnt holes in carpet & tells me not to feel sorry as she never liked it anyway. Mentioned to G. am sketching embroidery for tapestry & G. offered to help me. Must show her some draft not involving her brother. Dreadful disappointment about gowns though as no orange or yellow fabric available at short notice & was forced to order three gowns in white and pale blue as really cannot stand sight of dark green anymore.

January 17th:

Fanny says should probably call on G. soon & go over embroidery sketches with her as G. really accomplished with needle & also must make sure do not loose all connections with important family only because of burning incident. Fanny tells me no one talking about Christmas fire anymore anyway because Mary Crawford lost a stocking at the opera the other day. Felt much more cheerful & had cupcakes & tea with Louisa. Louisa says any day now business will be over and shall be able to finally get into the country. Only wish weather would clear up.

January 22nd:

la fureur= anger
se mettre en fureur= to become enraged
Je me suis mise en fureur= I became enraged.

Abigail informs me laundry now seen to in still-room as laundry room still locked & late-night delivery people apparently knocked over jar of raspberry jam over new white gown. Gown already in dyeing vat & shall come out beautiful wine-colour soon or so abigail tells me. Wonder what is going on at our backdoors; surely products that are delivered and sold at nights cannot be legal.

Meant to ask Louisa about possibility of laundry room having become smuggling den but did not manage to for Mr D of all people came to visit. Was still enjoying cupcakes & newest parliament gossip when he was announced but think was very pleasing. Mr D did not mention fire accident at all & only asked about everyone’s health. Told him had seen Jane lately & informed him about plain girl’s friend’s sad fate but talk of weddings did not inspire Mr D to act & did not want to mention topic of possible engagement myself as did not know whether would be the thing to do after set fire to precious heirloom rug. Must say Mr D rather pleasing about whole carpet affair & also told me G. would like me to visit soon.

January 24th:

la neige= the snow
neiger= to snow
il neigeait toute la nuit= Snow was falling all night.

Spent day with G. today & really think made progress with embroidery. G. encouraged me not to portray any person but rather try patterns first & helped me sketch rather pleasant Japanese floral pattern. Must purchase wool for project soon but really do not want to venture out in dark-green gowns or wine-red gowns. Tried to put on pale blue one as have become rather fond of it but hem was ripped. Abigail informs me late-night visitors accidentally entered still-room and knocked over laundry hampers. Really do think H should conduct illegal business on other premises & also do think housekeeper should allow me to borrow some poison. Tried to ask H’s valet about illegal business but was only given what is now ninth curl in possession & a cupcake.

January 25th:

Louisa said H asked her to stay away from home all day & she had already made appointment with Mrs Taylor. Wanted to accompany her but was very boring because did not have appointment & also still no orange fabrics to be had. Louisa reminded me had meant to visit Jane so set off for Cheapside & was really in bad mood as was wearing white frock again & also driver had to ask for the way thrice.

Knew not what to say to Jane as possible illegal business still out of question & also did not want to talk about politics. Ended up telling her how I spent time with G. embroidering & also mentioned that all of us to leave London soon. Did not say though that had to wait until smuggler’s cove in own basement filled with illegal products. Left early as was eager to discuss choice of colours with G. & also feared driver would not be able to find way back in the dark. Really like Jane but do wish girl was somewhat more lively as her silence makes it very difficult to talk & also think some child spilt juice on my gown as have now large stain on what was last wearable white frock.

Visited G. afterwards & met Mr D. & told him had seen Jane again. Mr D. advised me not to tell Charles since Charles just over whole sad affair with Jane & really did not want to contradict him as think he is right & also think it important to show him I agree with him on important matters. G. thinks should use shades of green not orange and make flowers blue not yellow.

January 28th:

Laundry crisis now definitely alarming. Another frock missing and no one able to tell me where it went. Shall have to think about ordering fabric en gros so as not to deplete funds totally. Realise must settle on one colour then; preferably wine or other dark shade that does not mind being dyed by clumsy mysterious nightly visitors. Live now in daily fear of Bow Street Runners storming house; on the other hand, thought of lui-sans-nom being arrested definitely uplifting. Was wondering whether to visit Jane today and apologise for lack of spirits at last visit but caught article in the newspaper about proposed bill and lost track of time. G. sent an invitation for tea.

January 30th:

Le duc - the Duke
La duchesse - the Duchess
Le comte - the Count
La comtesse - the Countess

Really sweet of G. to invite me for tea so often when one considers that only a month ago, set fire to one of their carpets & self in their drawing room. Had very good time & most tasty cupcakes. Only wish G. had not asked her guardian for tea as well. Most peculiar man; kept winking at me and making nonsensical remarks. Also think he was slipping me cupcakes on my plate as feel quite full now. Asked G. about ordering fabric en gros and she offered to accompany me. Had meant to ask Fanny but now realise F. would find buying fabric en gros tacky & also think G. more sensible about suggestion of suitable colour.
After tea, went to search out Darcy housekeeper to ask for recipe for cupcakes and to my surprise was presented with curl that is definitely not Darcy’s. Suspicious shade of blond & shorter than the other curls. Put it in the box nevertheless.