Nonsensical scene
Nov. 5th, 2011 06:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_shrubberyThis just popped in my head ... don't think it'll be of any use, but whatever.
'And how is your dear brother, Miss Bingley?' Lady Catherine inquired. 'Such a charming young man, and such a good correspondent!'
Caroline almost choked on her tea.
'My - brother?' she stammered. 'Co-correspondent?'
'Oh, yes, indeed,' Lady Catherine said. 'I am always most delighted when I receive a letter from him. They are always so full of information.'
She set down her tea-cup.
'Much better than Darcy's,' she continued. 'He writes on and on, crams his paragraphs with long words and in the end, you only learn that he had fish for supper. I ask you, who wants to pay twopence for that information? Now, your brother, on the other hand -'
Caroline reached for a biscuit, but did not dare put it in her mouth.
'- he can convey so much information on so little space. He doesn't blather around or uses unnecessary adverbs. No, he's straight to the point - none of this 'using interesting conjunctions' and bothering about the correct subjunctive - I'm not paying for grammar advice, thank you very much.'
'I always thought that my brother wrote very interesting letters,' Caroline said weakly.
'As I said, my girl, as I said,' Lady Catherine said. 'Did you not listen? Of course, I can see how duller persons of slow mind, like Darcy here, would not understand the true brilliance of your brother's letters, but I have never condoned stupidity and I will not do so now. I am sure Darcy could achieve at least decent results if he practiced more and studied less for complicated words that nobody needs. When I receive letters, I want gossip, not an etymological lecture, thank you very much.'
She took a sip of tea and then added, 'not that I do not understand etymology, of course, mind you. If I had put my mind to it, I should have been a true proficient.'
'And how is your dear brother, Miss Bingley?' Lady Catherine inquired. 'Such a charming young man, and such a good correspondent!'
Caroline almost choked on her tea.
'My - brother?' she stammered. 'Co-correspondent?'
'Oh, yes, indeed,' Lady Catherine said. 'I am always most delighted when I receive a letter from him. They are always so full of information.'
She set down her tea-cup.
'Much better than Darcy's,' she continued. 'He writes on and on, crams his paragraphs with long words and in the end, you only learn that he had fish for supper. I ask you, who wants to pay twopence for that information? Now, your brother, on the other hand -'
Caroline reached for a biscuit, but did not dare put it in her mouth.
'- he can convey so much information on so little space. He doesn't blather around or uses unnecessary adverbs. No, he's straight to the point - none of this 'using interesting conjunctions' and bothering about the correct subjunctive - I'm not paying for grammar advice, thank you very much.'
'I always thought that my brother wrote very interesting letters,' Caroline said weakly.
'As I said, my girl, as I said,' Lady Catherine said. 'Did you not listen? Of course, I can see how duller persons of slow mind, like Darcy here, would not understand the true brilliance of your brother's letters, but I have never condoned stupidity and I will not do so now. I am sure Darcy could achieve at least decent results if he practiced more and studied less for complicated words that nobody needs. When I receive letters, I want gossip, not an etymological lecture, thank you very much.'
She took a sip of tea and then added, 'not that I do not understand etymology, of course, mind you. If I had put my mind to it, I should have been a true proficient.'
